This post comes from The Hungry Student Leader Blog - and though it is a letter you may have read and one that has circulated the internet and Greek leadership conferences, we thought it was something we wanted to publish on the Mu blog anyway. It is something every Greek should read and something every member should keep in the back of their mind. We hope you like it...
You’re interested in joining our fraternity? We’d love to have you. You’re the type of person we look for: committed, enthusiastic, a leader. We think you’ll do great things here, and we hope that we’ll open some doors for you. You will make lifelong friendships, and hopefully, you’ll be the type of person whose positive impact will be felt here for many years.
This is the start of something really cool.We know you have your reasons for joining, and we also know that the reasons you’ll stay will be entirely different. Trust us on that one. People tend to join for the image, the props, and the social stuff. They stay around for the friendships and because they find a place where they can impact the lives of others. It’s a family. We know this. Soon, you will, too.Soon, these letters will be yours. But, there’s one lesson that we need to impress upon you before you sign your name on the dotted line, pay that first fee, and get that first t-shirt. It’s the single most important thing we’re going to ask of you, so you need to listen and understand it, now, before you say “yes.”It’s the one most important thing that any fraternity or sorority can impress upon its new members. It’s the one lesson that every group must impress upon its newest members. Truly, our survival as an organization on this campus, and nationwide, depends on you understanding this one simple lesson and taking it to heart.It’s more important than our history, our traditions, our structure, or our rules. Because, if you don’t understand this most fundamental lesson, then none of the other stuff will matter. If you don’t get this one “golden rule of fraternity,” then your son or daughter won’t have this kind of organization to join someday, and all of this will just be a fuzzy memory.Here it is. Ready?From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.I’m going to repeat it.From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.We’re not talking about t-shirts, or sweatshirts, or hats made in the colors of the group. We’re not talking about a tattoo on your ankle, some party favor, or a badge you wear on your dress shirt.What we mean is that when you say yes to lifetime membership in this group, everything you say, do and represent from that moment forward is a direct reflection on this group, your brothers, and the thousands of members who have come before you. Everything you put out to the world is a direct reflection of this fraternity. Every decision, every achievement, every mistake you make happens to all of us from this point forward.When you go to the grocery store, you represent us. If you fall asleep in class or earn a weak grade, you represent us. When you drive down the road and slow down so a pedestrian can cross the street, you represent us.When you turn 21 and hit the town, you represent us. When you become a leader of another campus organization, you represent us. When you insult someone or talk badly about another fraternity, you represent us. When you break up with someone and make decisions about how you behave during that difficult time, you represent us. When you go on Spring Break, you represent us.When you go home and sit at your mother’s dining room table, you represent us. When you get a job and go to work for a company or organization, you represent us. When you commit your life to that special person, someday, you represent us.You are always wearing your letters.From this day forward, always. Every day, in every situation. They never come off.As surely as if you tattooed these letters on your forehead. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a jersey with our name on it, or a business suit at an interview. You have to assume that every person you meet will form a permanent opinion about fraternities – good or bad – based on how you interact with them. Every good thing you do builds us up. Every dumb thing you do tears us down.We live in a time when the actions of one man or one woman can kill a group like ours. One person who acts in a way that is inconsistent with our shared values can end a hundred years of tradition and pride. One choice you make on a Friday night can take away everything that generations of men have worked to build.All the stuff you see that belongs to us can be boxed up or thrown out, because of the choices you make.If this seems a little intense, that’s good. Because it’s serious. If it sounds like too much responsibility, or if you don’t think you can behave in a way that reflects well on us at all times, then walk away now. Do us the favor. We won’t think less of you. In fact, we’ll thank you. This sort of commitment isn’t for everybody.But, don’t say yes unless you understand.We’re not asking you to give up anything. We aren’t asking you to become something you aren’t. We’re asking you to become something more. We’re inviting you to become part of a group of men who make a promise to take care of each other, every day. We’re asking you to become the very best version of you that you can be. We’re asking you to take a leap of maturity and to go to that place where you’re the same, honorable, dignified person on Saturday night as you are on Tuesday morning.It’s a big deal, and not everyone can do it. Forget everything you’ve heard up to this point. Forget how much you might desire this, or how much we might want to bring you into the group. Just clear your mind and ask yourself one question.Are you ready to never take them off?Because when you say yes, you’re not just putting letters on a sweatshirt. You’re putting them in your heart. You’re forever stamping your identity with them. Everything you are, from this point on, becomes who we are.You will make mistakes, and brothers will remind you of your commitment. There will be times where you will see other brothers forgetting their promise, and you’ll need to remind them. That’s part of this whole “fraternity” thing. We work together to make ourselves better men who stand for something. We carry each other. We matter to one another.If we’re doing fraternity right, then we’ll make you a better man. If you’re doing everything right, then you will make us a better organization. So, please think about it. Take it seriously. Because if you say yes, these letters belong to you as surely as they belonged to our founders. If you say yes, these letters become your responsibility forever.That’s the promise.
| Pi Kappa Alpha | Pi Beta Phi |
| Beta Theta Pi | Kappa Kappa Gamma |
| Delta Upsilon, Zeta Beta Tau | Chi Omega |
| Sigma Chi, Delta Chi | Kappa Delta |
| Pi Kappa Phi, Beta Sigma Psi | Gamma Phi Beta |
| Phi Kappa Theta, Sigma Tau Gamma, Acacia | Kappa Alpha Theta |
| Delta Tau Delta, Theta Chi | Delta Gamma |
| Alpha Gamma Rho, Tau Kappa Epsilon | Zeta Tau Alpha |
| Kappa Alpha Order, Phi Kappa Psi | Sigma Sigma Sigma |
| Alpha Epsilon Pi, Sigma Nu | Alpha Chi Omega |
| Lambda Chi Alpha, Delta Sigma Phi | Alpha Delta Pi |
| Sigma Phi Epsilon, Kappa Sigma | Phi Mu |
| Farmhouse, Phi Delta Theta | Alpha Phi |
| Alpha Gamma Sigma, Phi Gamma Delta | Delta Delta Delta |
Fraternal Thoughts is a great blog that focuses on gathering thoughtful conversation about Greek Life and the fraternity movement (we suggest you check it out). Thanks to Greek Life advisor Julie Drury for passing on this article to our chapters a few weeks ago - we liked it so much we thought we would share it with everyone!
One morning about three weeks ago, my 4-year old, who would typically go to school with bedhead that would make Don King jealous, emerged from the bathroom with a very wet and surprisingly well-combed head of hair. He did this on his own, and my wife and I had no clue what brought it on. After all, this was the kid that would run screaming through the house like his rump was on fire if we had even tried to put a few drops of water on his melon. As I drove my well-groomed little gentleman to school, I continued to wonder about what caused this change in behavior.
Once I got to school and dropped him off, the reason became very clear. It’s name was Olivia.
This incident reminded me of the tremendous power women have to influence men’s behavior. Whether it be our moms, sisters, girlfriends, or wives, we as men owe a lot to women for civilized behavior. If not for my wife, I’d probably look like this guy ---->
As we try to advance the men's fraternity movement, we could use some help from our female friends. Many fraternities and fraternity men behave badly – being insensitive at best and harmful at worst. A lot of these men receive an assist from women who let them off the hook. They let them feel no consequences for their boorish behavior.
The amount of influence that women have on men is so consequential, that they may be the best answer to creating a more values-driven fraternity culture.
So – I implore the undergraduate women reading this to do a few simple things to help us right the fraternal ship. These suggestions won't take a lot of time, but you may change the course of history. Here is what I’m asking you to do:
§ If you hear some fraternity guys refer to a woman as a conquest or a piece of ass, walk away. And don’t return.
§ If the guest bathroom in the fraternity house reminds you of a port-a-potty on the last day of the state fair, stop visiting.
§ Please stop dating, hanging out with, or even acknowledging any guy who wears a shirt like this.
§ The same goes for any guy who can’t drink an alcoholic beverage without calling everyone around him “dude”, shouting “YEAH!” to his buddies every three minutes, or making nonstop guttural noises like a Cro-Magnon in heat.
§ If you host a social event with another fraternity, follow your risk management policy. Demand that the men follow theirs. Or shut it down.
§ Practice your icy stare for those "educational" moments, such as when a man makes a demeaning comment about a woman's weight, tells an insensitive joke, or reads a Playboy magazine in front of you.
§ A formal is a tradition in which men act like gentlemen and women act like ladies. Expect the former and do the latter.
§ Don't go to this (nor encourage any men's fraternity to refer to themselves as "nasty dogs"):
§ If your boyfriend is a hazer, ask him if that's how he'll raise his kids.
§ If a fraternity drops by to invite you to a "Pimps and Ho's" party, don't cheer. Or giggle. Or even smile. Wonder instead why you didn't tell them to get the hell out. And then tell them to get the hell out.
§ Does your well-choreographed serenade feel and look like a lap dance? Stop and think.
§ Brainstorm creative adjectives to call a man who brags to you about the award his chapter gave him for hooking up with the most women in the past week.
§ Drop hints. Did your lawnmower break down? I bet most fraternities are hosting a brunch for parent's weekend, don't you think? Wow - that new yellow stain on your hat is the biggest one yet!
§ When a female friend of yours is absolutely wasted and being led away by a guy she just met, do what everyone else tells you to do: get her out of the situation. Then find the guy, and in as public a way as possible, confront him in a voice that will haunt him forever.
§ Raise your expectations of how men should dress, how they should act, how they should talk, and how they should treat you.
§ Expect them to be fraternity men. Tolerate nothing less.
Oh - and if appropriate, tell them their hair looks nice when combed
It's November and that means (somehow) this semester is coming to a close. While are current Chapter Management Team is hard at work instituting the final programs and events of the semester, they are also looking toward this future. Over the past two weeks Mu Chapter has completed its slating process for the 2011 Chapter Management Team - below is our new list of chapter leaders, congratulations girls!
President: Gracey Roope
VP: Programming: Jenner Smith
VP: Social Standards: Taylor Deppe
VP: Member Education: Lauren Crutchfield
VP: Membership: Amy Voloto
VP: Finance: Katie Moore
VP: Foundation: Cameron Sprock
VP: Panhellenic: Stacey Sheridan
VP: Communication: Avenly Jones
Scholarship: Sarah Harris
Rituals: Mamey Roope
Social Events; Lucy Rusk
Recruitment Records: Morgan Coleman
House manager: Kelsey Tracy
Recruitment: Katie Jackson
New Members: Elissa Curtis
Activities: Melissa Murphy
Public Relations: Katie Reichenbach
Funds: Leigh McLaughlin
Senior Programming: Morgan Grawe
Special Events: Jackie Parker
Alumnae Relations: Lauren Hagerty
Chapter Archives: Alyssa Wollard
Fundraising: Stephanie Faerber
Anchor Spalsh: Nikki Bracken
Spirit: Paige Codilis, Kelsey Tracy
Sportswear: Caryn Lippincott
Banners: Lauren Pusateri
Songs: Ashley Archer
Points: Jordan Berlind
Honor Board:
Junior Member: Ashley Archer
Sophomore Member: Carly Voloto
Member at Large: Ellie Shamel
Alternate Honor Board Member: Hannah Price
Sisterhood Events: Kenzie Dolan
